my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I need a beard to bite.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
