actually, I'm a sock model
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
