At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We need to get me chipped asap
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
