Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
