Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
