Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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