i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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