thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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