I think I am morally bankrupt
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
