everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
