Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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