Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
do herpes really smell.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
