how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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