Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
