i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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