Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
