O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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