I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
