Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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