Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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