I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize