It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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