1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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