i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Randomize
