i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
