I just made out with a guy for $7.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
