I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
