we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
