i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
wow bdsm is so cute
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