how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
