that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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