Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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