I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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