that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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