The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
