Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
