What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
