i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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