I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
