I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
