wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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