also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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