is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
