My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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