she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
