I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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