I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
