I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize