she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
