he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
