Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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