Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's blow job season.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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