There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
