So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
