I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize