i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
