ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
