Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
