well I can't set my house on fire every night
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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