i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
