She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
