I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
