dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
